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I mean, you used to hang out in his dorm room all the time.

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But I don't remember him taking you to dinner, or a formal, or anything like that.

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There's no way you could have filled up so much time just typing flirty missives about "Jon & Kate Plus 8." Didn't you also text him while you were driving at, like, hhway speeds, occasionally? But then you two actually did hook up—yes, I totally remember now! Like, every couple of months you'd wind up drunk in the same place. But it's not like you were just around every time, rht? Well, anyway, just thought you mht want to reach out and congratulate Chase! Jenny Essman's going to share her new story on the best backcountry skis for petite women! It wasn't because you saw Chase's name in my subject line, was it? I'm sorry—I didn't mean to bring up someone you don't like thinking about.

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My friend has been talking to a guy on Tinder for FOUR MONTHS and has no intention of ever meeting up with him.

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