Dating for the first time in college

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My anxiety spiked as I tried to think of something orinal to say, something that would indicate I’m charming, intellent, and witty, but I would have settled for simply “not a moron.” This mht not sound like an unusual blind-date interaction, but I didn’t know that at the time.

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I was more concerned with what I was going to say next, trying to come up with some clever on-deck topics of conversation.

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It was all so new, and I desperately didn’t want to make a mistake. I’m not sure why I didn’t go on my first real date until I was almost in my mid-twenties.Wo years ago, I was on a date with a woman I’d met online. I felt cheated, like there was some secret how-to guide for dating that I never got to see.

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After all, I’m not freaky looking or freaky acting (unless I’m having an anxiety attack and noring what a woman’s saying so I can come up with the next topic of conversation). Out in the non-dating world, I seem so normal and even self-confident. “It’ll happen when you’re not looking for it,” I’d often heard, although not from any friends, because I never admitted my inexperience to any of my friends. I forgot — or tried not to think about — the fact that if I was good at emailing, this inevitably would lead to a date. That’s how I ended up sitting across the table from Dewey girl, my mind spinning like that scene in when you see the machine’s point of view and it’s scanning through a pre-programmed list trying to match the correct phrase with the situation.

Dating for the first time in college:

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