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After chatting through a bit of my dating history, the problems I’ve had and what I’m looking for in a relationship, one of the first things Madeleine explained to me was the three main personality types when it comes to relationships: The theory is that which type you are is down to your childhood and your relationship with your parents - isn’t it always?
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Most anxious people, for example, had unpredictable parents who were sometimes around but sometimes not.
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As a result of that support system not always being available, they become hyper-vilant.Whilst that definitely wasn’t the case in my childhood, I have the struggle of being a middle child to contend with which I do believe has made me more independent. The trouble is, how do you know what type someone is before you give them a try? At 24, I feel no real social pressure to have a boyfriend, but give me five years or so and I know the stma attached to being single will have grown immensely.
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Avoidants usually develop the relationship issues we do, however, if our primary caregiver was absent or unreliable and as such we had to be independent from a young age.
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